Ramble on....

Robert Plant once said it's been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time...but he also tried to convince us that D'yer and Mak'er were real words, so I'm not sure how much he can be trusted. But yes, been along time since I've posted....blah, blah, blah....I'll backdate some entries and it will be like I've never left! I've got a few drafts I need to finish off....but hope to be back at this more regularly.

I'm Robert Plant...and I'm cool enough to use the word lonely 5 times in one sentence.

Dangerously close to 2 weeks to go till Charleston...and I'm putting all my stock in my training plan. Definitely some things that I've never done before are raising some internal questions, but at this point, I'm just locked into the plan. I could open my spreadsheet, see a 24 mile tempo run 2 days before the race, and shrug my shoulders, and say, "well, it has worked so far....". I'm in the sort of blind loyalty phase that causes people to join cults or become Cubs fans.


Anyways, here are some of the "sure, why not" new piece of training so far...

• Fast-finish 22 miler (14 @ 8:25 pace, dropped the last 8 all lower than 7:35) 2.5 weeks before the race. Quick recap: This was for sure one of the 'signature' runs in training so far. Really had a terrible day of prep, perfect for holiday laziness (what, a serving size of chili cheese potato chips isn't 1 bag? Well if I had one beer, what's a 4th going to hurt? ), but not running focused at all. Started at the VaBeach convention center, headed out to Seashore State Park and got a few miles on trails and found a water fountain (really couldn't have done logistics worse on this run), back to my car by mile 13 for water, Accel gel, and back to the boardwalk. More than any other run, this sent off the "it is going to hurt" alarm for the marathon, as the last 4 miles were just keeping my cadence and managing my mind and the pain. A few more stops than I wanted on the run, but turned through the last 8 pretty much stop-free....so hopefully this pays off.

• 10 miler @ MP pretty late in the game (this upcoming Tuesday) We shall see. Last decent effort run before race day.




• Track workout 2 weeks before race day....
  
  

So the last bullet is next on the agenda. If I really stopped and thought about it, I'd probably be like..."really? 20 x 400m 2 weeks out?". But so far, so not-injured.....so far, so feeling pretty confident....so far, so seriously, if you want me to join your "Order of the Mystic Comet" Cult....just sneak it on my marathon plan, and I'll see you at the compound.

When the Company Goes Public

First, let me say this post is not, in any way, about me. Yes, even when it inevitably turns back to me....it is still about this....

Awesome job Shawn...way to go buddy.

I had a B-L-A-S-T being part of the Thunder Road marathon this weekend. I ran to help pace my friend Shawn towards a sub-4:00 finish. I've since learned people get PASSIONATE about "bandits". For what it is worth, I just drank water, didn't listen to people cheering, and tried to get hit by cars as to not take advantage of the traffic control. Beyond all of that, I just wanted to see Shawn break 4. I ran miles 5-to-the-finish with him, and he ran a patient when needed, and gutsy when called for, race. I tried to inspire him with tales of Ghost Jazz in my spot-on Bruce Springsteen accent, but the strength was all Shawn. Cramps, hills, and the sound of my voice were all obstacles he was able to overcome on his way to the finish. Seriously...congrads Shawn.

Shawn was very straightforward about his marathon goals. "Just want to break 4...." was his rehearsed company-line. I never heard him saying anything else...and he put in the work before and on race day to bring that goal home. It was a bold public goal, and a strong execution of that goal.

Most people (including myself...all the time) have secret goals, or layers of goals in addition to the public goal, that if someone was being transparent....conversations would play out like this...

"Hey, what's your goal for the Generic Marathon next weekend?"

"Well, I'm hoping for 3:45. I've been training around 3:35 pace, so that would be possible, and it would be great if I could get under 3:30. My Boston time is 3:25, so that would be amazing, but really getting under 4 hours would be fine. To answer your question, I just want to finish."

After Theoden made his summer Boston proclamation, and Shawn had his steadfast sub-4 goal, I was thinking I needed...or rather wanted...to make a public goal for Charleston.

Because as The New Pornographers remind us, when the company goes public....






..... you've got to learn to love what you are.

Once that public goal is out there, you really lose the ability to orchestrate the revisionist history that is possible with the secret goal. Tell everyone you are going to break 4, and you miss, there might be a bit of damage to the pride....tell everyone you just want to finish, with the top-secret goal of breaking 4....then you either meet or exceed your goal.

I admire the folks that can make those bold statements, but I am not really sure where I fit in. I'd love to qualify for Boston someday, but I'd like to someday break 3 hours even more. Not simply because that means I'm running faster....I've just always been drawn to round #'s as goals, more than a race standard.

So.....I can GO PUBLIC (I will never apologize for continuing to tie back to some sort of musical theme....) and state that I'm hoping to run 3:25 at Charleston. I can say that, hoping to be 100% honest....but there is still some sort of internal deal making behind the scenes. I can elaborate and say....I've been training at a goal pace faster than 3:25, but my PR is 3:36, and a sub 3:30 finish is nothing I'd be too upset about. Then there is the simple historical fact that I've typically been 10-15 minutes slower on the 2nd half of EVERY marathon I've ever run. I could go on....so.....

I'm going to say 3:25. knowing full well there are so many mutations of that goal that exist inside my head. Not sharing those mutations is not meant as trying to sandbag or play things too close to the vest, but rather because I myself don't know what those other goals are. Will 3:34 feel great since it is a PR, or disappointing since I've trained for something much faster? Will 3:29 still feel awesome if it is part of a late-race blow-out and another 2nd half fade? Who knows. Sure as hell not me.

3:25 it is.

I 100% Know this post will jinx me....

But seriously....can't I get any normal injuries? After pneumonia came and took away my fall marathon, I am now battling a scratch on the lens of my eye. Likely came from sleeping in my contacts, and then running in them on Saturday. I can't run in my glasses, so likely back to the one contact household for this week, assuming the eye gets better.

Week wrap-up
M - 0
T - 6.1 with MJK over lunch. Legs felt
W - 4 solo (pedestal/MYRTL). Legs felt awesome.
Th - 9.4 in am with Amos. Legs felt sore again. Molested by lawn sprinkler.
F-0
S - 14.95 with UCRR
Sun - 0 thanks to my stupid eye
33.95 total - all of it pretty relaxed once I got through post-Rocktoberfest deadness

Rocktoberfest Half - 1:37:44

Let's start with the basics.

• I ran 1:37:44 which since I can't remember how fast the few 1/2's I ran in my teens (aka "where my PR's live"), it's my PR.



• It was on a hilly course, while my lungs were still on the comeback trail after recovering from pneumonia, so I think my marathon PR is toasted the next time I run.



• Rocktoberfest is a shitty name for a race. It sounds like something coined by a horrible modern rock station that reminds you that Nickleback is coming up next after these words from All-American Auto Sales. My main motivation to set a new half marathon PR is so I never have to say/write the word "Rocktoberfest" again.
  

As always, I was a bundle of nerves the night before. My legs felt rested, but with a recent 12 day window of no activity (unless you count coughing up blood as x-training...), they were likely over-rested. I was heavier than I would like to have been after the rest, and raceday felt like a big mystery. I decided this was the best time to come up with a plan, stick to the plan stubbornly, and hope for the best.

The plan: Run 7:30's until my legs gave up completely. Hopefully this would give me enough cushion to get under 1:40, knowing that the end of the race had a few hills.

The execution (what went right): Stuck to my guns. I was likely heading for sub 7:15 for the first mile, and thanks to an OCD level of Garmin checking, stayed closer to 7:30. Got pulled along a bit when Jamaar passed me, but went back to running pace....or at least pace-ish.

What went Wrong: Maybe not the smartest decision to run with my lungs not 100% back, but I felt that there was an expiration date on my training, so this was use it or lose it. I coughed for 5 minutes straight when it was over. Drank way too much and day-dreamed about peeing for most of the race.

So nothing more to say, other than this was the most fun I had running in ages. Good to see a bunch of running friends at the finish, and glad to have something to show for 15 weeks of training, other than just bitching about my pneumonia, and a Medoc t-shirt I'll likely never wear.

Splits:

7:26 / 7:28 / 7:27 / 7:35 / 7:18 / 7:22 / 7:10 / 7:26 / 7:15 / 7:36 / 7:34 / 7:22 / 7:37 / 1:08

Hitting the rest button

You know how it is.....you have a difficult section coming up. Sure you can take out the first two creatures with your knife, thus saving bullets, but what about beyond that? There's a troll that you kill eventually, but not until you figure out how to attack it, and are almost out of life. You aren't dead, but can you make it to more life potion in time? Could you have saved more bullets? Did you realize you are 33 years old and have been playing video games for over 2 hours? All of these things lead one to hitting the reset button. Well, maybe the power button for the last one.

Admittedly, it is not an actual button. I mean there is a button on my Wii, but it is easier to just find someone with an axe and let them put you out of your misery, and then go back to the most recent save point. The next game after the reset button is a wiser trip. The jump you just missed, becomes one you make with ease. You don't heistate to waste a round of shotgun shells on the troll, because you know there are two boxes in the shed down the path. Yes you have lost time, but it is in the name of gathered information.



So, I'm trying to harness the lessons I've learned from playing Resident Evil 4, and am trying to apply them to moving forward after missing my marathon. I am not a "turn that frown upside down" kinda guy, in fact that phrase is a sure way to ensure that "that frown" stays right where gravity wants it to remain. However, staying put and driving head first off the "woe is me"cliff, does me no good. There is likely a quick shelf life on my training, so I'm going to keep free-basing Vitamin C, count calories, stretch, and do my best to be SMARTER in an attempt to be FASTER.

Not sure what this means racewise....Dowd? Thunder Road (perptually the consolation prize)? Kiawah?

I used to be a heroin addict. Now I'm a methadone addict.

Tapering. I thought everyone hated it, the nervousness, the bizarre new injuries, being used to eat with relative freedom and then losing some of that freedom as the weekly mileage drops. I thought there was a united front against tapering until my friend Laura told me she loves tapering. So here is why I hate tapering, beyond what I've already expressed...

Running primarily fills an emotional need for me. I make a point to let people know I like to run; not exercise. I take the elevator to go 2 flights and almost every form of exercise I only engage in...Pilates, swimming, Yoga.... with the thought of "how will this help my running."

When that emotional outlet gone, there isn't anything really to fill that spot. After a stressful day, I'd go for a run, so when that gets pulled back, a beer or 4 would sound great, but oh wait, I'm tapering. I know that drinking and tapering are not mutually exclusive, but I've know I'll run better with yet another outlet gone. It seems perfectly set up for disaster, let's take away your #1 stress relieving activity more and more as you get closer and closer to the potentially stressful event of race day.

It is more than just trading one addiction for another (as suggested by the title quote from Annie Hall), it is abandoning trusted forms of support in exchange for anxiety.

This is where I wish I had more of a positive spin, more of a "well, kids, the lesson we all learned today was..." epilogue. But I got nothing. Just the honest confession that there is so much more work to be done in this phase of running for me. However....there is one thing I suppose I do love about tapering. It reminds me of my love, my need, for running. So, yeah, I guess that's something.

Don't Go that Way

As much as last week's Saturday run was about running by myself, today was about the power of running with others. I doubted my ability to knock out 12 miles at 8 min pace most of the week. Ran 7 Tuesday and struggled to run 8:30's on the LSC greenway, and really doubted Saturday's plan. 7.3 with Monica/Justin/Rachel Thursday AM and it was even more of a struggle....although I felt better as the run went on, and still saw Saturday as a struggle. A good easy run on the Latta Park trails made me feel better, but TacoMac for dinner and a few beers signaled I didn't think I was quite ready.

On Saturday morning, I was looking for someone who had emailed the group looking to run the exact workout I was planning on running. Never ran into that guy, but this put in me in a little more of a "seek out the new guy" mode than usual. Never ran into that guy, but this lead me to Brian from the Gaston County Running Squad (something like that..), who was certainly the guide I needed today. We hit the first mile in 7:25, and they (the group at this point was me and all new kids....Brian, Stephanie, and Angie) didn't seemed panicked, which made me in all honesty kinda panicked (more on this later...stay tuned). We turned off of D. Taylor onto the greenway, and when we made the swing back from the greenway we rolled past the water fountain, and I felt better about my commitment to holding this pace.

I realized how much I was counting on the group when Brian asked if we should turn down the Doby Creek greenway extension, and I was insistent that we could get the remaining miles going straight. That sounded a little less desperate than "please don't leave me". Even though I'm honestly trying not to force the "indie rock as expressed through running or vice versa" as a constant theme, I had been blaring "Under Cover of Darkness" by The Strokes as my get ready for running song....



....and I truly echoed Julian Casablancas' cry "don't go that way", when I realized how essential the group was to getting through the run. We settled into a steady pace and were trading stories of upcoming races and general running banter. Brian and I sustained a nice push up Fairlea and had a nice push on the last mile in 7:34 to give us a 7:46 average on the entire 12.

Afterwards in Caribou, I chatted with Angie who mentioned she was worried about hanging at the pace we were running. I told her I felt the same way, and was glad we didn't share our concerns. Somehow as long as we kept out concerns a secret; the pace could be kept as well.

All in all, great confidence building run, and 2 weeks till Medoc!

Justin Vernon's Cabin

Sometimes isolation is the best inspiration.

When I first started running with UCRR, I seemed to have perfected the art of showing up as everyone was leaving. I made the turn into the Harris Teeter parking lot to see the group start to pull away. Sometimes I would just start late, and lag behind, other times I would bag completely and just run later in the day. However, I somehow eventually mastered the art of the alarm. Either set on my phone, or internally locked in my brain, I just got up because I knew I needed to get up. The run was still the thing, but the group was just as essential.

Today's run started the way it used to, by showing up late. This was a lateness born of scrambling to find enough clothes with a steady rain already falling at 7am.

I started out David Taylor around 7:15, and ran into Theoden who came out from under a tree (hoping to wait out the rain). We clipped off some quick miles heading out to the Y, he doubled back after about 3.5, and I was alone for the rest of the run. The goal was simple, try to hang around 8:15 pace (finished @ around 8:17....with a long break @ 10.5 to change clothes/bathroom), stay steady on the hills. Even though I ran into Hazel and Beach at the Y, the rest of the run definitely had a feeling of isolation. It was kinda cold....it rained....then stopped raining...then started raining again. I decided on a course of a double Y loop, so there always seemed to be a hill around every corner. I don't want this to come across as hyperbole, like I'm trying to paint myself as a character in a Jack London short story, it just felt lonely...but in a good, pensive, reflective kinda way.

The story of how Justin Vernon wrote the Bon Iver album "For Emma, Forever Ago" has been well documented. Alone....with mono....in a cabin.....in Wisconsin. He didn't go there planning to crank out breathtaking songs like this one...



It just happened. After going 0-4 in my attempts to knock out a 20 miler, I just wanted confidence coming out of this run. I didn't intend to find it by running most of the run by myself in the rain, but it just happened. Just a quiet run, that provided the self-reflection that would have never happened in a group, might not have happened without the rain. Still not sure how this will translate to the trails in 3 weeks, but it was nice, even with sore legs, to quiet the doubts in my head....and I didn't even need to get mono or go to Wisconsin to do it.